Who doesn’t once in a while. But if it is dominating your life then it is time to add some changes. You need to do some changes. Without changes, you cannot expect different results.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” – Albert Einstein.
When you google the internet, it is full of good advises of what to do and less about what not to do.
Self-pity is the result of all of your effective behaviours and habits.
Habit – “something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it.”. – Cambridge Dictionary
The habits are imprinted in you and you do them again and again. Some will have a tendency to make you feel self-pity, others will make you happy, others are just neutral.
The problem with only adding good habits
Let’s assume you meet Alice. She starts out with only bad habits, that is, habits that makes her feel self-pity.
Alice adds a good habit, that is a habit which isolated makes her feel better, which obviously makes her feel a bit better overall.
Of course, she still is dominated be feeling self-pity, as her mind is dominated by bad habits of self-pity. As Alice continue to add all the good habits, at the end, she still doesn’t feel truly happy.
The reason is, her mind is still filled with all the bad habits. Hence, all the good habits are not enough for her to feel truly happy.
The problem with only removing bad habits
Now meet Bob. He has another approach. He starts out like Alice, with a lot of bad habits, which makes him feel self-pity.
But instead of adding good habits, he actually removes some bad habits.
He continues this practice until he has no bad habits left.
But the result is the same as Alice. He doesn’t feel truly happy.
The ideal combination – to add good habits and remove bad habits
The ideal combination is to both add good habits and remove bad habits. In this way truly happiness will come.
This is of course simplified. But it illustrates an important point which is often forgotten. It is important to take an inventory and ask yourself, are there some bad habits, which makes me feel self-pity. If so, remove them.