As an introvert you probably avoid many social situations in order not to feel, for instance, embarrassed about yourselves, uncomfortable about expressing your opinion, or even shy about people looking at you.
Perhaps it is most pleasant not to confront your fears. But is it really for your own best not to confront them?
Why bother, you survive living with your fears.
Survive. Yes, that is what you do by not confronting your fears in social situations.
Below are three reasons why you should confront them.
1. Fear controls your life
Basically, if you have a fear in social situations you will try to avoid them. If, say, you don’t like to interact with people in groups you will try to avoid it at all costs.
Me, I felt like that, I hated to stand in groups. There were several reasons for that. Primarily because if someone would ask for my opinion I wouldn’t know what to say because I was too afraid to have the “wrong opinion”. Second, I felt uncomfortable and would never speak up. Third, I was afraid people would think I was strange if I did not contribute to the conversation.
For those reasons I would avoid to stand in any group of people.
My life was dominated by similar fears and subconsciously I made my choices along the day to avoid these situations. Also, I made up excuses to myself for not doing it.
I used to say, “Well, I do not have any strong opinion about anything, hence, why would I stand and talk about things I don’t even care about.”
I had many excuses like that. And I believed them. If you continue to tell yourself lies, well, of course you believe them.
2. If you don’t confront your limitations it becomes a fear
“Our fears arise from things we don’t confront.” – Shakti Gawain
I used to believe that my fears would disappear with age. I saw grown up everywhere looking confident in all social situations.
Well, I was waking up every day for rude realisation. Nothing ever changed. Fears do not disappear by themselves.
If your fears don’t disappear and you get new fears from not confronting your limitations, it is a downward spiral.
But if you learn to confront your fears, you will eliminate your fears. Further, you will eliminate potential fears by confronting your limitations.
For me, I wanted to overcome my fear of standing in groups of people small talking. While I started confronting my fear something else magical happened. I was taking control of my life.
3. Fear only has power if you let it control your behaviour
“Once we are willing to look fully and deeply at the source of fear, it loses its power.” – Shakti Gawain
The feeling of control of your life is beyond anything I ever imagined. Suddenly you were the one deciding what you wanted. Not running away and avoiding how life unfolded that particular day.
I remember how I would always try to find placed where I could be alone. I loved the outdoors, but only alone. Places where people did not go. Unfortunately, those places are rare and I would occasionally meet people. I would immediately feel embarrassed, what were they think of me walking alone there?
Another fear. The fear of what other people think of me.
But the fears had so strong power over me in all situations. My fears were controlling my behaviour. Fear had power over me.
Don’t let your fears control your life.
- Confront your fears and choose not to let them control you.
- Don’t let your life be controlled by events during the day which you have no power over.
- Take the power away from your fear.